What beer should you be drinking?

Tackle the beer aisle like a boss, with Time Out's situational beer-matching guide

First published on 6 Aug 2012. Updated on 13 Aug 2012.

While everyone obsesses over which brew to pair with their bouillabaisse, Time Out answers your real beer-matching quandaries.

So, which is the best beer to:

	Drink at the footy That's not a question. Just drink your damn Carlton Draught and keep your allegiances focused on the field, orright?

	Take to a 21st A slab of generic German lager from Aldi should see you right. It sails through a beer bong, won't clash with Jäger and is cheap enough to sacrifice half to bathtub pilferers.

	Drink in the shower Grolsch not only gives you that Patrick Bateman feel, it has a functional swing top so you can cap your brew while you loofah. Alternatively (if you live in a share house or shower in the yard) shotgun a VB. Either way, you're a mother-flippin' baller.

	Take to a dinner party Sweet, malty, potent Chimay is both expensive (ie impressive) and brewed by monks (ages ago, but whatever), which utterly trumps your friends' single vineyard Shiraz made by a super hot young graphic designer in the Yarra.

	Have at 5pm on a Friday It's a pivotal decision. A Belgian pint spells sloppy doom and expensive rounds. Pure Blonde is clean, but about as effective buzz-wise as licking a battery. Go the middle way, grasshopper, with a Little Creatures Bright or a classic Coopers Pale..

	Drink all day in the sun Look at yourself. Are you wearing a party sombrero? If so, stick a lemon in your Corona and continue working on that sunscreen tattoo. Or, separate yourself from the terra-cotta warriors with a zesty sixer of Stone and Wood Pacific Ale.

	Drink all night in the winter The night is long and full of terrors – unless you've got a 14.3% Red Duck Braggot Mead under your belt. Then it's drastically shorter and warmer.

	Order at a cocktail bar You have two choices: order a dark Holgate Porter with a chaser of whiskey to show 'em who's boss, or, order a Tooheys like a honey-badger-don't-care badass.