Time Out Brisbane

Time Out’s chief restaurant and bars critic implores you not to use these words - ever

The 2012 Time Out Food Awards are this Monday, and to celebrate we're starting with a call to arms. We took a leaf out of New York Mag's book, and created our own list of hate-words. Help us stop evil in its tracks by avoiding words like 'scrumptious', 'delectable' and 'mound'. 

 

Crispy Crisp is fine.

 

Devour If you’re a dinosaur devouring a unicorn, we can live with it. For everyone else, please try again with something less half-baked and cliché.

 

Feel When you mean mood or atmosphere.

 

Funky A room is not funky, but dry roasted shrimp paste can be.

 

Gobble Is only OK if you’re talking about that weird bit of skin on a turkey’s neck, or the noise they make before running into a fence.

 

Giggle avoid unless you want a backhand slap from the ed team.

 

Iconic when you mean famous The Momofuku pork buns are famous. The Sydney Opera House is iconic.

 

Mecca Unless your chair is pointing that way.

 

Mouth-watering Senile and dribbling over your tin plate after too many meds? OK. Describing a self-saucing chocolate pudding? No.

 

Mound Only OK if you’re talking about vulva shaped food.

 

Nosh/Nosh up/Noshery You know, the English have another meaning for ‘nosh’ that has nothing to do with food, and everything to do with fellatio.

 

‘On acid’ Unless you’re actually Hunter S Thompson on acid.

 

Ooze (This from the subs team: “I will kill anyone who uses this to describe something non-viscous. Kill.”)

 

“Om nom nom nom” Every time you write this, a dolphin commits suicide.

 

Slurp It’s gross.

 

Snuggles against Applies to baby bears, zebras and ponies. Not pie and mash.

 

Sinful Has your meal given you a proud look or devised a wicked plot? No? Then think twice.

 

Scrumptious, scrummy Smacks of short, stubby fingers wearing too much jewellery and eating bon bons.

 

Steaming pile Is your meal a steaming pile of manure? It is? Go for it.

 

Tuck in Only applicable when tucking in pants, beds and shirts.

 

Trendy Makes us think of our parents wearing chunky jumpers and expressing themselves after a few white wines.

 

To die for Unless you’re actually talking about dying.

 

Über Just, no.

 

Variety Be specific, you lazy gits – what are we underpaying you for?

 

Fancy some more journalistic ranting? Check out Andrew P Street's screed about the Five Greatest Music Journalist Clichés

First published on . Updated on .

By Myffy Rigby   |  
Katy Perry

Katy Perry

The cupcake-breasted one is on her way to Bris-vegas