Melbourne Writers Festival 2012

Steve, what event would you recommend…

…for someone partial to verbal stoushes?
Well I'm presuming that your verbal stoushee will want to hear from the world's best wordsmiths, and won't mind if they're living or dead. If this is true, take your notebook to the Necessary Poet to hear Germaine Greer, Omar Musa and others reading the work of their favourite, most necessary poets. If you like your performances fresh then get down to the Toff for the launch of audio journal Going Down Swinging, featuring hip-hop, spoken word and sweet song stylings.

…for an epiphany chaser?
Depends on what sort of epiphany you're after. If you're searching for God on Earth then I don't think you could go past Contemporary Ethics with one of the world's greatest philosophers, Martha Nussbaum, and a man who has left the church behind, Richard Holloway. If you can't decide between God and Buddha (Gary Ablett or Gary Hocking), then you should head to St Paul's Cathedral for The Great Football Debate: Is Football a Religion?

…for someone storing up pub ammo
I can only hope that every one of us will need to know more about Australia's women of letters, and thus I can't go past recommending the Stella Prize's Trivia Night. If diversity of knowledge is your thing, then you probably can't go past the eclectic, David Letterman-esque Friday Night Live, featuring host Libbi Gorr, a house band, guest comedians, musicians, science writers, novelists and international troublemakers.

…for someone disillusioned with print media?
If the tabloid media have lowered your expectations smaller than their page size then you need to be at Gotcha! – our 'hypothetical' on ethics in journalism. If you need the whole story then make sure you get to all of the events in our New News conference – an open discussion on the future of journalism.

…for someone on a nostalgia trip?
If you're talking nostalgia it's hard to go past David Bowie in a pair of tights, no? If you're nodding your head then take in Liner Notes' tribute to Ziggy Stardust, in which 11 writers – as diverse as scientist Tim Flannery, musician Deborah Conway and memoirist Ben Law –respond to the album in a track-by-track tribute, complete with band and face-paint. Get your tickets early.

…for a lover of the classics?
You can't get more classic than Dickens, so I'd be doing all I could to secure a seat at Simon Callow's 'part performance, part lecture, part brilliant' keynote on Dickens. What better way to celebrate the classics than in the company of one of theatre's greats sharing his love for one of literature's giants?

…for someone on a date?
Ahh, but how do you want the date to unfold? If you want to end with a dance then you need to be at one of our Lyrical events. If you'd like to showcase your intellectual prowess then try any of our Big Ideas, and if you want your date to see how cool your cultural connections are, then try An Evening with The New Yorker. Even better, take them to all and show them that you're the full package.