Alternative office Christmas parties

Chill On Ice Lounge

Southbank

Channel Santa Claus and celebrate Christmas in an unusual way: in the cold. With over 50 tonnes of ice throughout the Lounge (and balmy temperatures of -10°C) your office can collectively enjoy: donning snow capes and gloves; drinking cocktails out of blocks of ice; a fan-forced blizzard; and doing shots out of the ‘ice luge’. The North Americans and Europeans in your office will feel right at home.

Best for: Asking your office crush if they want to ‘warm up’ later. Ahem.

The package: Christmas parties can run from a mere $30pp (with just a cocktail) to the deluxe $100 (with dinner) – or maybe your bosses will pony up for an open bar ($50-$70pp).

CERES

Brunswick East

Don’t settle for stodgy pub food or lukewarm canapés at your Christmas party – at CERES, your office can cook a feast together you’ll be discussing the rest of the year. Under the tutelage of a private chef, the Community Kitchen can play host to a day of Masterchef-style antics. Divvy up the duties: send some people to the garden for herbs, set others chopping organic veggies, and let the chef guide you through how to make any type of cuisine your stomachs desire. Teamwork!

Best for: Competitive offices who want to kick it off, Iron Chef-style.

The package: Your workplace can book a full day in the kitchen ($400), or a morning/afternoon/evening ($200), and ingredients can be purchased a short stroll away at the CERES organic market and shop.

Bounce, Inc.

Glen Iris

Need to let off some work-related stress? After a one-hour session on Bounce’s dozens of trampolines – some even placed on the walls for maximum bounce-ability – you won’t even remember what it’s like to sit at a desk. Christmas party packages include the surefire hit ‘trampoline dodge ball’, plus foam pit action. (Don’t ask, just try.) With party pies and sausage rolls accompanying drinks, you’ll feel years away from the office – and back to childhood delights.

Best for: ‘Accidentally’ hitting your boss in the face with a dodge ball.

The package: Don’t have a lot in petty cash to party? At $28pp, this is one of the cheapest – yet we daresay most fun – ways to get a bang for your buck.

Astor Theatre

St Kilda

Here’s hoping the head honchos will spring for a Christmas do at the Astor. Its 75-year-old historic cinema can fit hundreds of employees, +1s, and even kids. You can either choose to screen one of the Astor’s 433 films from their movie library – or make people watch a work-made film sending up your colleagues. (Now’s the time to show footage from the last Christmas party.) There’s even a dance floor to try out your Saturday Night Live moves after the credits roll.

Best for: Non-awkwardly sitting in silence next to workmates.

The package: With the theatre hire $2,000-$3,500, and film hire $200, this ain’t the cheapest venue in town – but just remember you can get your event listed on the iconic Astor calendar for free.

Melbourne Zoo

Parkville

We’ve heard of Christmas parties getting wild, but this literally does. Where else can you celebrate Yuletide with the roaring of lions in the background? From 6-11pm on Dec 21, the zoo will be transformed into a market along the Mek Kapah terrace (along the Trail of Elephants). It’s all in the name of the biggest shared Christmas party this side of the Serengeti. Mingle with other offices as you admire the lions and tigers and bears. This will be a Christmas to remember.

Best for: Future blackmailing of officemates when you video them imitating the monkeys.

The package: $135pp will yield canapés, hawker-style street food, dessert, drinks, and even a special talk from a zookeeper.