Top 10 Aussie films to scare off tourists

A sweaty handful of films that make the Australian Tourist Board’s job that little bit harder

More than a few trips down under have likely been inspired by the Movie’s depiction of this green and golden land. Ever since cinema-goers gasped at the turn of the century as they watched Ned go down guns blazing in The Story of the Kelly Gang, Australian film has been enticing travellers with panoramas of untamed wilderness buzzing in dusty magic, charmingly unkempt rogues with smiles as quick as their fists, and golden sands lapped by perfect blue waves.

Some filmmakers however prefer to take these tropes and twist and tear at them some until the remoteness, the dreadful beauty of the Australian wilderness, and the rugged free spiritedness of its people are transformed into something rather more unpleasant.

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

Arguably the most iconic Australian films ever. The first two chapters offer a brutal vision of a post apocalyptic Australia in which the rubber road is ruled by savage bikie gangs that terrorise the rapidly crumbling remains of civilisation. Sort of like Geelong. The breathtaking pace of George Millar’s muscular direction and the many scenes that remain unmatched to this day in terms of excitement and ruthlessness have ensured the films’ place in action movie history.

Most people say that the trilogy had been neutered by the third instalment; I say if a gone-to-seed Tina Turner’s awful acting and terrifying hair, Neighbour’s Benito Alessi in bondage gear and Mel Gibson beating the living crap out of a mentally handicapped (possibly Jewish) man-child isn’t one of cinema’s most chilling depictions of the apocalypse, then I don’t know what is.

Razorback (1984)

Everyone knows that Australia is home to some pretty nasty critters: crocs, funnelwebs, great whites, dropbears. The ways in which nature can bite you on the arse are as numerous and varied as they are well documented. Something that visitors might not be expecting to have to worry about however are giant homicidal pigs.

Thankfully, Melbourne born director Russell Mulcahy found time in between directing some of the 80’s most famous and campest music clips to address this lack in essential outback survival knowledge and cook up this fun and visually startling cult classic. Surprisingly smart for a film about a boar the size of a combi-van leading a squealing horde of pigs in a vendetta against the local populace.

Body Melt (1993)

Australia’s entry into the very small and very sloppy ‘melt’ genre. Whilst these films were primarily a (thoroughly commendable) excuse for the special effects guys to see just how much latex and corn syrup they can shovel into a film before someone calls them on going that little bit too far over the line, Body Melt manages to keep the viewer entertained during the parts where Melbourne suburbanites aren’t turning into puddles of colourful gloop. It’s maniacally funny, has a killer electronic soundtrack and gets in many a dig in at the image obsessed, health gimmick fixated culture of the pill popping early nineties. If you have a strong enough stomach this film is worth tracking down even if it’s only to watch Ramsay Street’s Harold Bishop gleefully throwing himself into the madness as a psychotic doctor.

Bad Boy Bubby (1993)

A film to make you glad that you decided to leave Adelaide and come to Melbourne, Bad Boy Bubby tells the twisted tale of a 35 year old man taking his first steps into the outside world after having been confined to his room for his entire life by his abusive mother. Bubby’s darkly funny and oddly touching odyssey through the city of churches involves incest, murder and blasphemy, but it’s the scenes of him ‘playing’ with his pet cat that really got people worked up. I’m pretty sure that isn’t an animatronic kitty, and would be willing to bet that the words ‘no animals were hurt in the making of this film’ aren’t to be found anywhere in the credits...

Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)

As if rampaging bikies, killer fauna and Harold Bishop with a handgun wasn’t enough to worry about, the villain here is a million year old volcanic rock formation. The dreamy feel and period setting of this film, which tells the story of the unexplained disappearance of several schoolgirls and their teacher during an outing to the eponymous rock, belies a creepiness that settles over the imagination and is difficult to shake.

Whilst the supernatural is never explicitly alluded to, the film does an excellent job of anthropomorphising Hanging Rock into a malignant, manipulative entity capable of stirring a weird fascination and repulsion in the impressionable young minds of those who wander too deep amongst its crevices and phallic peaks.

Like the novel it was based upon, the film ultimately offers no real explanation of what happened to the girls, and is all the more disturbing for it.

Dead-End Drive In (1986)

Lawless youth running amok and daring escapes from unusual prisons are two things that filmmakers in the 80’s apparently couldn’t get enough of, and this film combines both in a masterstroke of celluloid genius. Problem teenagers are rounded up into a drive-in and left to their own devices. Attempts to keep them occupied with fast food, trashy television and Hunters and Gatherers songs inevitably go tits up and the movie lot is soon looking like an adolescent version of Mad Max. Rather surprisingly based on a short story by esteemed Victorian novelist Peter Carey.

Turkey Shoot (1982)

Prisoners are hunted down and creatively murdered for entertainment in a bleak dystopian future. No, it’s not the Running Man, it’s a low budget but imaginative, bat-shit insane exploitation film notable for it’s ludicrously over the top gore and sheer number of Australian soap actors and actresses. What it lacks in Arnold Schwarzenegger – Jesse Ventura cage matches it more than makes up for in crossbow wielding lesbians, severed limbs, top-hat wearing wolfmen and gratuitous scenes of 70’s bush in the shower block. Possessing the same crazy genius as Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste, it makes modern day grindhouse imitations such as Machete and Planet Terror seem like anaemic shadows in comparison.

The Reef (2010)

Sharks: Australia has ’em in spades (those famous underwater scenes in Jaws were filmed off Adelaide, FYI) but it was only in 2010 that someone decided to make an Australian stranded-yacht crew-getting-picked-off-by-a-Great-white movie.

The characters in Andrew Trauki’s film are as shallow as the water they’re frantically paddling in isn’t, but the actors (including Gyton Grantley) are good enough to make you feel their terror as the monster fish stalks and devours them one by one. Welcome to the famous Barrier reef!

Wolfcreek (2005)

The bleak documentary feel, the senselessness of the slayings and the everyman mundanity of the antagonist in Greg McLean’s shocking debut feature set the worms of doubt squirming in the brains of many a backpacker planning a road trip through the Australian outback. Nicely touching on themes explored in films such as Picnic at Hanging Rock and Jindabyne, it drops hints that the land itself holds a mysterious and not necessarily benevolent power over those that walk upon it.

It is also responsible for tainting a much loved scene in cinema: here the words “that’s not a knife...” aren’t followed by an affable bloke showing some New York street thugs who the boss is, but rather an affable bloke giving an explanation, then demonstration, of what a ‘head on a stick’ is.

Snowtown (2011)

All too believable in its depiction of the horrific Snowtown murders of the 1990s, Justin Kurzel’s film has had viewers all over the country asking, is it too soon?

By showing how popular and likeable John Bunting (Daniel Henshall) was, and yet how utterly without remorse he went about torturing and murdering anyone he took dislike to, the film puts a question mark above the head of every seemingly friendly ocker bloke the unsuspecting visitor should happen to meet. Gourmet travellers, beware: in South Australia, it’s not just the wine that ferments in barrels.

First published on 26 Aug 2011. Updated on 26 Mar 2014.

By Matt Smith   |  
 

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