Parents, stop compromising. Melbourne has heaps of kid-geared activities that don't suck for parents, and vice versa
This sculpture park and gallery really comes through with the goods. You’ve got a Vue De Monde café for you, open space to run around in for them, and ‘treasure hunt’ worksheets to help kids engage with the art by setting them questions to solve riddles. Bulleen, Tue-Sun 10am-5pm. Under 12 free; $12-$16. All ages.
Trawling for '80s bridesmaid horrors isn't a hobby just for uni students. Take your kids to any op shop (we like Savers) and set them a budget ($10-$15) then let them build fancy dress outfits. Maths and make believe, together at last. Various locations. $10-$15.
Melbourne has plenty of bike paths that avoid roads. You can rent bikes from Fed Square (Rent a Bike) and do the Capital City trail, or, if you have wheels, hit the Merri Creek trail (slightly hillier) and stop for cakes at Abbotsford Convent Bakery. Convent Bakery, Abbotsford. Ages 5+.
You’ll need to bring a big buddy if you want to climb as kids can’t belay for you (ie. hold your rope). It’s an intense workout, and climbing things is a small human's greatest joy. Melbourne, Mon-Fri noon-10pm; Sat, Sun 11am-7pm. Ages 8+. $20.
The folks at indie music station PBS know you need to learn your alt-rock moves early, so, they put on full on daytime gigs for kids and parents. Sugarfed Leopard is up next on April 3. There’s even a padded mosh pit. Fitzroy Town Hall, 11am-noon. $0-$5.
The zoo is set up for all humans great and small. They have ‘meet the keeper’ sessions daily so you can grill tiger experts, plus new exhibits including lemur island. Lemurs! Who doesn’t love those Madagascan fluff balls? Only monsters. Parkville.
Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s wrong to take on kids at this contact-free combat sport. They’re ten times wilier than you with a weapon and they have no mercy. Strike Bowling, Melbourne Central. 8+. $12.
Welcome to bouncy land of pure joy for all. You’re looking at an entire gym of trampolines, foam pits and airbags so you can throw yourself around care free. Little ones (under 110cm tall) can only jump 10am-4pm during the week. Glen Iris.