Tex-Mex Melbourne

Puta Madre Brothers

If KISS quantum leapt to Meh-hee-co Sit-eee and landed in the middle of a cockfight, it’s a good chance they’d… be fucked. Puta Madre Brothers on the other hand would simply blend in with the locals, cheering/jeering their way outta the tight spot while sweat trickled through the boot polish and grime all over the faces. These Mariachi rock’n’soul men howl poorly pronounced Spanish to “sing” songs like ‘Queso Y Cojones!!!’ and ‘Toes of a Deadman’, using ramshackle instruments. Fuelled by nachos and cerveza since 2007, Puta Madre Bros have played Meredith, Boogie, Falls and all kinds of dirty bars in the Americas. Don’t ask your mother about what their band name literally means. Gulp(icano).

Dec 30, Falls Festival, Lorne

Abbie Cardwell & The Chicano Rockers

This hot tamale leads a 10-piece gringo ‘rocanrol’ band – including double bass, trombone and sax – through high-kicking, shrill-whooping vintage goodness that nods back to 50s and 60s. Specialising in vintage Mexican rock, swing, mariachi and surf, they’ll take you out of Melbourne and into mental mescal mode.

In a parallel universe, Abbie is an Adelaidean purveyor of ‘rootsy tunes’ in the manner of Tom Waits and Ricki Lee Jones. But that’s another story.

Dec 17 & 22, LuWOW, 11pm-late

Mesa Cosa

Bucking the trend of local Tex Mex bands, Mesa Cosa’s frotman Pablo is a bona fide Mexican, a fiery chilango if you will. He screams his tits off in chaotic numbers like Alcatraz and Los Perros and his band name is translated as Table Cloth. Rather misleading really. Having smashed up Pony and all the other regular Melbourne haunts, they list their influences as God, the Devil, DMT and the B52s. Expect the five-, sometimes six-piece to lay guerilla gigs all summer long and never be too far away from Puta Madre Brothers’ rider.

Made for Chicken by Robots

Some say Made For Chickens By Robots is a side project of Anto from Puta Madre Brothers. Others say it’s some faux-Mexican guy from Melbourne trying to escape his past as a rooster rustler in Tijuana. Mostly though MFCBR is rubberneck fingerpicking on a kid’s axe, footstomping a suitcase royale, smashing a snare and all the while rambling sexual in-your-end-OH through a gold-plated megaphone. Crazy gringo. It’s like rustic blues with Texas branded all over its asphalt. Last time the Chicken chico played was in 2009 and he nearly set fire to the Old Bar curtains. This time he promises to do just that!

Dec 1, The Old Bar