This brightly lit, booth-totin’ diner has a big range of thick-as shakes. Sure, everyone’s crazy for salted caramel, but we like to mash-up peanut butter and raspberry flavour – it has enough of the delicious deadly legumes to wipe out a primary school. Fitzroy.
Not even a congested West Gate Bridge could stand between us and the apple pie shake at Spotswood’s answer to the legendary Momofuku Milk Bar. It’s exactly what it sounds like – apple pie, blitzed with house-made soft serve and milk into a thick, biscuity beverage. Spotswood.
This Led Zeppelin-playing, vintage-furniture-having burger house nails the diner theme as well as it nails a chocolate malt beverage. Chocolate syrup and hefty scoops of malt and ice cream get whizzed with milk and topped with an extra vanilla scoop and lots of chocolate sprinkles. Get two straws. It’s a beast. Windsor.
It’s a Golden Gaytime shake! They blend their dairy with Australia’s most joyfully named frozen treat. It’s more milky than thick, and you just get a slightly sweet edge from the caramel, chocolate and biscuit but that’s what you want if you’re pounding burgers. Melbourne.
The café offshoot to Port Melbourne’s Rose Bar and Diner is a sweet haven of Coronation chicken jaffles and shakes. Go for the creamy coconut and chocolate Lamington. It’s your patriotic duty. Port Melbourne.
It’s not the classic side to a steaming bowl of pork belly ramen, but adding on an umami-tastic coconut and salted caramel ‘shake is the regretful decision no-one regrets. Northcote.
For those who are genuinely lactarded, these guys do a thick frozen banana and peanut butter shake with an almond milk base, all topped with crunchy cacao nibs. Breakfast in a mug. Collingwood.
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