Time Out Melbourne

And now for something completely unnecessary. Time Out sent two stunt eaters, Owen Spear and Gram Morris, to attempt the Beaufort Fatty Melt. It's gross. Enjoy

The Beaufort Bar, house of great drinks, boat paraphernalia and occasional chicken and waffle nights, is doing a mutant burger that comes with a staff prescription for Metamucil.

The Fatty Melt is the contents of a double cheeseburger stuffed between three (!) grilled cheese sandwiches. Nothing about this manwich will get your doctor's approval. Along with your triple-decker, you'll get a pickle, some fries, and probably an audience.

"If you want to break up with someone but you're not sure how to tell them, eating this in front of them should do the trick," Morris reckons. We watch. He's right.

Our competitors go for different techniques with mixed results.

Morris: "I decided to keep the giant toothpick in. The sandwich held together well but the toothpick got stuck up my nose and pierced my face quite a few times."

Spear: "I squished it all together and went at it. Unfortunately my burger quickly began to look more like a shot-gun victim than a burger. In short, my strategy was effective, but not pretty."

Morris concedes defeat halfway through. Spear finishes, and claims what we suppose you could call an honourable victory.

Unfortunately there's no actual prize for finishing, but if you're up for a calorific challenge to prove your consumption capabilities, sweet glory will cost you but $20. Just remember to give the bar 24-hours notice. And get some Metamucil.

Updated on 5 Nov 2013.

Photos by Graham Denholm   |  
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