Does your set of wheels make you cool, or a tool? The results are in

Fixed gear bike
Everyone calls you a hipster to make themselves feel cool and superior. Time Out understands you, though, not least because we’re perched on a milk crate outside the same café as you right now. Hey there...

Racing bike
In your head, you’re a prime athelete – or a Lycra-clad superhero, ready to dispense swift, speedy justice on the mean streets of Melbourne. To everyone else you’re a luridly coloured sausage on wheels.

BMX
Biological age is just a number: in your heart, you’re 12 – 13 max. Grim reality’s going to kick in the second you try to pull off a sweet endo, mind.

Mountain bike
You’re a rugged outdoorsman, prepared for anything the elements lob your way – the crippling terrain of Fitzroy North isn’t about to conquer itself.

Unicycle
You’re probably at an organic market and reading this on your girlfriend’s smartphone because you don’t believe in letting the man know where you are, you beardy, shirtless freak.


 
Penny farthing
You’ve been inexplicably brought forward in time, possibly to hold up a mirror to our modern ways, you Victorian fish-out-of-water, you. That, or you’re at an organic market (see Unicycle).
 

More cycling...

   
Pimp my bike   Why should I ride?    

First published on . Updated on .

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