Fat Swan

Tell me about the genesis of the show, how you came up with the idea.
Basically, I got a phonecall from a friend of mine in London, and he had just gone to a film festival where Black Swan had premiered, and he rang me and said, “This film is so ridiculous, you have to go and see it. It is ripe for turning into a complete pisstake.” I said, look, well, I hadn’t even heard of it yet, it hadn’t even come out here. The second the film came out, I went to go and see it, and all I did was laugh all the way through. All I could think about was playing that anorexic ballet dancer. So basically it went from there, starting to use Black Swan as the basis, and then sort of grow out from there into parodies of other performing arts films.

Why were you interested in this character specifically?
I just thought how melodramatic it was in terms of how she was completely crazy, and she had lesbian experiences and takes drugs, and it’s really quite hysterical. I think also the fact that they spoke about Natalie Portman having all this ballet training, and being so fit to play the role. I thought “how hilarious if I just play it, because I’m completely wrong for it in every way”. I did absolutely no ballet training – nothing at all. So I just thought it would be funny if I just sort of saw what happened if I played that role. I hadn’t planned on doing it, but I certainly don’t use a body double like she did.

So, what are the particular challenges of for a man playing a female ballerina?
One of the things that everybody kept asking after the last season [in Sydney] was when I wear a white leotard, and at some points, that’s it. They were always quite impressed with the fact that I was a complete gender illusionist, and you didn’t know with what I’d done with my appendage.

That was my next question: do you have to strap it down?
Yes, it all disappears. Otherwise you can’t do the masturbation scene. I don’t think it would be very pretty if there was something hanging around there. So yeah, that’s probably it. That, and all the makeup, of course. It takes me about an hour and a half to get ready for it. By the time I’ve put all the tights on, put the leotard on, put the makeup on, glued my wig on…it’s a long process. But the results are good. You’re looking at me and going, “I’m sure he turns out very different”.

You already told me you didn’t do any kind of ballet training. How else did you prepare for the role? Did you just watch Black Swan over and over?
No, I guess the main thing is that because the show is a pantomime, it was more sort of research in the writing process of what are the elements that make up a panto. And so for me a lot of it was, we had to have the “she’s behind you” moment, we had to have a moment where I got people out of the audience, we had to do the mint tea toss. It was more finding all of those elements and then finding out how I was able to sort of host the show, as well as play the character. So we did a lot of prep in terms of finding traditional panto.

Did you see other pantos?
Well, we don’t have any here anymore. So that’s what I find so extraordinary. When I was as kid, I used to go to panto all the time.

But it’s still going strong in the UK.
Oh, absolutely, it’s huge in the UK! So it was fun for me to bring that genre back, and talk to people who’d done them. And I love doing it. I think talking to a completely adult audience and calling them “boys and girls” is always fun, because the second you treat everyone like children it brings out their childlike qualities.

How was the show received in Sydney? Did they get into it?
Oh, well, we were completely 100 per cent sold out, and we added shows and they sold out. So it was pretty amazing. Some people were offended and did complain, but I was very clear and upfront in all the marketing that it was absolutely adults only, and it did have very strong language. Look, I think it’s all in good fun, I don’t think it’s offensive as such because it’s not meant to offend. Obviously there are elements that may have been in the movie that we recreated, but I do think if people are easily offended, I think people need to watch the film and think, “Okay, if I were to see this live on stage, what would I feel?” And I guess that’s the thing. I think most people absolutely loved it, and we had a very mixed audience. I was very surprised – I thought it would be 90 per cent gay men, but it wasn’t. Sometimes I’d come out and there would be couples in their sixties and seventies who were loving it. I think audiences just need to expect to be a part of the show.

How would you compare Sydney to Melbourne, audience-wise?
Oh look, I’ve been very lucky. When I did my Liza [Minnelli] show here for Midsumma last year, it was extraordinary, some of the best gigs I ever did in my life they went so crazy. I did Hairspray here for a year, and they were always lovely. So I don’t think there is much difference between Sydney and Melbourne audiences. Sydney audiences get drunker. I think that’s the main thing.

Where’s the show going to go after Melbourne?
We don’t know yet. It’s just going into a box for a while after Melbourne. I’m busy running around the country doing lots of other stuff, and so I hope to bring it back at some point. It would be fun to do.

Have you ever performed anywhere like The Spiegeltent?
I’ve sung one song in the Spiegeltent once, so I’m looking forward to it. I’ve seen a lot of stuff there, so I’m really looking forward to actually playing it. I think it’s a great venue and a really great vibe in Melbourne over that period. I went to see a lot of stuff here last year when I was doing Hairspray, and on my nights off I’d go to see stuff. It’s a great venue, and I’m really excited to be part of it.

So you see other shows. What else do you do to unwind after your performances?
Gosh, I drink. I’m hopeless. My nickname is Trashly. Basically, because I do enjoy hanging out and chatting. You’ll probably find me a Curve Bar every single night after the show. But life’s been so busy and I’m been doing so many shows over the past two years that I haven’t really had any significant time off, so I actually am having a holiday after Fat Swan is over, which I’m very excited about.

Where are you going?
I don’t know, somewhere I can lie on the beach and do absolutely nothing for a couple of weeks.

And drink cocktails.
Exactly.

So, out of all the ballet and dance movies out there, what’s your fave?
Oh, god. I think Fame the original is one of my favorites. Centerstage I don’t mind. Oh look, I think there are so many great ones. That genre of the performing arts films, where it’s about young performers making good, is always a great story. So I’m a fan of that genre, but I’ve also enjoyed taking the piss out it, especially when it involves me doing a ballet that goes for minutes and then I kill myself. So I think, you know, you’ve got to enjoy it.

Any gossip about your co-stars? You don’t have to name names.
Look, I think they’re such a wonderful cast. I have Tara Morice, who starred in Strictly Ballroom, and she is absolutely hysterical. The only gossip is that she plays my mother as Cate Blanchett, which I am very impressed with. She does a brilliant Cate Blanchett impersonation. And Brendan Moore has been fantastic – I get to kiss Brendan every night. I did stick my tongue down his throat on the final Sydney performance, which he was completely shocked at, but I said, “If I’m gonna have a chance, this is the last show and I’m doing it now”. So yeah, that was fun. And Lisa Adams, who was starring in Jersey Boys, is fantastic and very funny. Lisa and I are the two who get to the theatre the earliest, about two hours before the performance, and we sit in our dressing room with a bottle of wine and we have a lovely glass of wine and do our makeup. It’s very relaxed, and we have a gossip and go on. She’s a very, very old friend of mine. We’ve known each other for 13 years. So it’s nice to be working with people I have worked with before and those I haven’t. So it’s good.

Last question: Why should people go to see your show?
If you want a really good belly laugh, and you want to watch a 100-kilo man dance around in a tutu, I think it’s very funny, very entertaining. Any fans of the movie or people who hated the film equally will enjoy this.