Season Two, Episode Four
“The Iron Throne is mine by right. All those who deny that are my foes.”
Killings: Countless (five Lannisters for every Stark)
Heads on spikes: 4
Emergency amputations: 1
Naked women: 2 (1 bedwarmer, 1 witch)
Demonic shadow creatures: 1
Shit gets real in episode four. The show’s violence kicks in bigtime, its eroticism becomes dark and sadistic, and the episode’s ending is a shocker. If there are any children in the room, calmly explain to them that sometimes grownups have to torture other grownups with hungry rats and who wants ice-cream?
The King in the North launches a surprise attack against the Lannisters. In the battle's aftermath, Robb (Richard Madden) spies a Volantene girl tending the wounded and their eyes meet over a screaming amputee. Robb 1, Joffrey 0.
Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) intervenes when Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) wants to take out his anger on Sansa. So instead, Joffrey takes his anger out on a prostitute Tyrion has gifted him. Tyrion 1, Joffrey 1, prostitute 0.
Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) arrives at the gates of Qarth to be greeted by the Thirteen Elders. The Thirteen demand to see the dragons. The episode’s effects budget is needed elsewhere, so Daenerys refuses. The Thirteen let her into Qarth anyway. Daenerys 1, Thirteen 0.
Stannis (Stephen Dillane) commands Davos (Liam Cunningham) to take Melisandre (Carice van Houton) on a midnight boating trip. Melisandre gets naked again. Looks like Davos is gonna get lucky too... Hang on. What the…? Ohshitohshit oh shit…. Viewers 0, George RR Martin 1.
Game of Thrones season 2 scorecard