Time Out Melbourne

Our anonymous staffer mastered the hook-up app Blendr in order that she might inform you better

Being the hetero version of Grindr, Blendr’s basically a DTF service for people roaming the same streets. The ‘geosocial networking application’ might bill itself as a tool in which to share your interests with people in your vicinity, but judging by the number of cock photos I’ve received, interests are limited.

Before you get all “What sort of a girl/ guy do you think I am!” when sent some unsolicited full-frontal nudity, try to remember you’re just someone on sex Twitter – don’t take it personally. Delete the pic or save it for a rainy day.

It’s a quantity-over-quality experience. Don’t expect to be wooed with an opening line equivalent to a Shakespeare sonnet. If you’re a girl, expect upwards of 20 suitors a day – most of whom open with “Hey”.

If you’re a guy, you’ll be doing most of the work. Ladies are overwhelmed with attention so you may become weary of making an effort with a killer opener, only to yield no results. But we guarantee blanketing all women with “Hey!” isn’t going to work well. Want to chat? You need to engage someone in conversation.

If flirtation goes off-page and into a bar, we assume you’ll be sensible and background check: chat on the phone, stalk on Facebook and take real names.

LESSONS LEARNED: You’re entering high school again – back in the same competitive pool with all of your peers. This means there will be crossover, which can be awkward, so consider swapping notes. DTF (down to fuck) is the single most depressing expression of the modern age, but more people are doing it than you think, which means you can make genuine connections with great people. Our experience has included two average dates and the best new friend of 2012.

Most girls still expect dating norms to apply, but it is more sexually explicit than a dating site, and you should understand that.

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Updated on 25 Mar 2014.

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