New Year's Eve

Most of us hate New Year's Eve. Why? Because there's an unrealistic but universal expectation that New Year's Eve will be the biggest and best night of the year. Unfortunately, with everyone else also trying to have the kind of night that lives up to the hype, the likelihood of actually achieving said goal diminishes to around the same odds as keeping your New Year's resolutions beyond February.

Some organised and forward-thinking individuals will start to make New Year's plans months in advance. Usually they are thwarted by the rest of us – their friends – who suffer from a combination of laziness, an inability to commit, and that most paralysing of conditions, FoMO (fear of missing out). We're all talk and no action; replying to their emails with enthusiasm, but never actually booking anything. Our inaction stems from a benign trust that an as-yet-unthought-of-but-totally-brilliant New Year's solution will come along and whack us in the eyeball like a great prophetic trout if we are only patient enough to wait for it.

And that's how we find ourselves in December with all the holiday houses booked out, travel prices ridiculously inflated, our proactive friends having made other plans (most likely with other decisive types) and no good house parties on the horizon. The familiarity of the feeling is the most upsetting thing about it, so we take sulky refuge in the fact that we were right all along: we hate New Years Eve and this is why.

Dry those eyes, party poopers. We solemnly swear that as the clock strikes 12 you won't be left shaking hands with the most socially awkward person at your cousin's party. We've skimmed the cream off the top of Sydney's social calendar and served it to you with extra sugar, whether it's an evening affair or a daytime do. Crisis averted. All we have to do now is work out how to get a taxi home afterwards...

New Year's Eve

Shore Thing
Best for: Partying on the beach
Headliners: Carl Cox, Danny Tenaglia, Roger Sanchez
If being outdoors with a huge crowd of revellers and one of the legends of dance music sounds like a good time to you, then this is the place to be.
Bondi Park

SHE NYE
Best for: Clubbing on the harbour
Headliners: Sandy Rivera, Chuck Love, Tara McDonald
Sexy, soulful house tunes and a waterside view of the fireworks. Things could be worse.
Bunglow8 and the Loft

Harbour Party
Best for: Fun in a fun park
Headliners: Pendulum, Ian Carey, Grafton Primary
A festival-worthy line-up, unlimited fun park rides and a front row seat to the fireworks.
Luna Park

Hush... NYE
Best for: Clubbing in the Cross
Headliners: Joey Negro, Kimblee, Tara McDonald
Too busy dancing to go back to the bar? Get the VIP ticket which includes canapés till 10pm and beverages all night long.
Trademark and Piano Room

Peats Ridge Festival
Best for: Getting out of Sydney
Headliners: Lamb, Sarah Blasko, the Panics
This sustainable music festival runs 29 Dec–1 Jan and is only one hour north of Sydney.
Glenworth Valley

Purple Sneakers NYE House Party
Best for: Indie kids
Headliners: The Grates, the Boxer Rebellion, Philadelphia Grand Jury
Break out your stovepipe trousers or spray-on jeans for three levels of local and international DJs and bands. Manning Bar

Pacha
Best for: Eight parties in one
Headliners: Sebastian Ingrosso, Claude von Stroke, Sidney Samson
See and be seen. The whole Ivy complex will be your playground for the night, except for the Pool Bar and Changeroom for which you have to cough up an extra $100. Ivy

The Club Club NYE
Best for: Clubbing in the city
Headliners: Danny Howells, Anthony Pappa, the Only
Chinese Laundry is a serious music club so it's no surprise they've booked Danny Howells for a four, yes four hour set. Chinese Laundry

Red Rattler
Best for: Everything alternative
Headliners: JD Samson, Glitta Supernova, Blush Foundation
One of the most exciting and alternative venues to have opened in Sydney this year celebrates all that's queer and kooky. Marrickville

SYD.NYE09
Best for: Not mingling with the peasants
Headliners: Goldfish, Jon Sa Trinxa, Dolso
If you've got money to burn then why not? Dinner by Matt Moran, DJs from Ibiza, a plunge pool... and a chartered boat to avoid the crowds when you leave. Sydney Opera House

New Year's Day

System
Best for: An after-afterparty party
Headliners: TBC
If you're still standing at 9pm on January 1 and you're some kind of superhuman party animal, far be it from us to hold you back.

Space Ibiza NYD
Best for: Homesick Europeans
Headliners: Pete Tong, Tiefschwarz, Sam Sparro
Space Ibiza turned ten this year and decided it was high time they came to Australia – bringing along their own palm trees, dancers, stilt walkers and acrobats. Entertainment Quarter, Moore Park

Field Day
Best for: Taking it easy on New Year's Day
Headliners: 2manydjs, the Presets, Major Lazer Soundsystem
Just you and 25,000 of your closest mates enjoying the sunshine, the park and 12 hours of music. The Domain

Play NYD Cruise
Best for: Starting before lunchtime
Headliners: Yoshi, Matrix, Suae
If you like hard house at 10.30 in the morning, then you're in luck! They'll even drop you at Field Day in the afternoon, bless them. Sydney Harbour

Spice Afloat Cruise
Best for: Somewhere to go at 3.30am on New Year's Eve
Headliners: Ripperton, Matthias Meyer, Murat Kilic
Sydney Harbour

Alize NYD Party
Best for: A day at the pub
Headliners: Sidney Samson, Micky Slim, Bass Kleph
Sick of huge crowds? Try an all-day party with a festival sized line-up – in a pub. Mean Fiddler