How can we laugh as the world slides into chaos? Well, in my day we didn't have chaos: you could leave your house unlocked, you could take your animals to church and we ate papercuts. I think we are doing OK, you have to just laugh whenever you can. It can't get as antisocial as smoking, where you sneak off for a cheeky giggle outside or you go in a special area for happiness, when comedy gets banned inside. That's when chaos will ensue.
What punchline have you longed to find a joke for but never quite managed? "So my shaving plug socket in my hotel bathrooms is screaming to me ‘use me use me, I only get electric shavers, give me some proper voltage'."
If you could call a moratorium on one over-used stand-up premise, what would it be? The idea that you can place the supposed "rough area" of the city into your set and change it to suit where you are: "so I was in Redfern last night." I find it really lazy, so if a comic asks you what the rough area is, just mess em up and say the most affluent.
Bill Hicks or Bill Cosby? Neither, if I'm honest. I really don't know enough to judge. I'm aware they are both greats, but maybe because I grew up with Fat Albert I will give the nod to Cosby. I bet when he sees this he's well delighted, but I suppose Hicks wont be buying a copy.
Does your mother approve of your career choice? My mum is my inspiration. When I was growing up she was so fearless socially that it really made me try more interesting things onstage. You know those people who others say "oh, Maggie would do it"? That's her. Part nutter, to be honest
What's the one subject that you've never been able to make a joke about? Cheddar cheese. Holy shit have I tried: I've hammered parmesan, did a whole show about feta, even had a relationship with an edam, but I just cant nail the olde CC.
If your comedy was a musical genre, what would it be? Emo Opera. It's the most depressing world in which we apparently live in, then a fat person with a My Chemical Romance t-shirt begins wailing and we stop slashing our wrists and begin to just laugh. The saying becomes "it's not over until the fat bastard dressed up in black stops waffling on".
Of what comedian would you most like to hear about the mysterious, asteroid-collision-related disappearance? Jarred Christmas. He's doing a one off show called Captain Curious: he's my best mate but I would love him to have an anal probe just to see his little sci-fi-curiosity-filled face. That's clearly not a funny answer, just a little clingy by me.
Complete: Two men walk into a bar... ...gain sale, and buy loads of interior products to make their house look nicer.
What do you want to be when you grow up? A dad. It's bloody happening in September and I'm well excited. I'm like a kid waiting for a new kid.
What's the funniest thing about Sydney? The people. I think the audiences are great, I really do. Also you see loads of people who are so delighted they are in a city where they can express themselves so the mad bugger ratio is pretty high too, which makes you run faster when they chase you.
In 30 words or less, explain what your show is about and why everyone should go and see it. It's on May Day, I've won awards, (ahem, Time Out). It will be really great. I hope we get together and laugh and cry like we are cutting onions with midgets.