Bill Bailey

First published on 29 Apr 2010. Updated on 5 Apr 2011.

We set the UK's musical comic genius against the clock for a quick-fire round of questions.

Describe yourself in three words. Hirsute. Curious. Approachable.

Describe your new show in one line? Embrace the greyness.

How does your new show compare to your other shows? A lot more jokes.

You have the gift of perfect pitch. If you could have another superpower what would it be? The ability to travel back in time, a few minutes.

Sing a song lyric that means something to you. "And as things fell apart/Nobody paid much attention." That's from ‘(Nothing but) Flowers' by Talking Heads.

You've recently acted out Pinter and also performed a guide to classical musical at the Royal Albert Hall. Are there any other personal/vanity projects in the pipeline? I'd like to be the first comedian to go to the moon.

You're a bit of a Trekkie: if you could beam yourself anywhere, where would you go? Another dimension, a wormhole.

Favourite philosopher? Bertrand Russell; he's always good value. He's handy with a quote, ol' Bertie.

If you could make one apology, what would it be and to whom? Chris de Burgh: I've been unduly harsh.

Last time you cried? When I was watching my son singing a school recital. Gets me going every time.

Provide a punchline to this joke set up: "A part-troll, a Klingon and a medieval roadie walk into a pub..." And the barman says: "Sorry this is a library, and I'm not in this joke."

You're a woodland expert; so who would win in a fight between a weasel and a barn owl? Depends if the weasel had a bit of prior knowledge of the barn owl's arrival and could prepare itself, arm itself with a sharp stick, know to stay out of sight, stick to the walls, hug the skirting boards. But if the barn owl had the element of surprise, no chance, barn owl is going to win every time. If the weasel had a Taser, that would even it out.

When you think of Sydney, what is the first word that pops into your head? Breakfast!

In what ways are you turning into your father? Well I've started to have a greater understanding of weeds.

Strangest place you've ever performed in? I did a gig once in the Philippines, on the beach. The publicity consisted of a photocopied photograph of me, which had been faxed to the hotel and then photocopied a bit more, so the quality was bad. Then these A4 black-and-white photographs vaguely resembling me were then nailed up to trees around the hotel so it looked like a wanted poster. Dan Rookwood