Good sorts on sports

Those who enjoy the sporting arts might be aware that there's some sort of high-profile "football" event happening shortly - but several of Sydney's funniest women have decided they're not going to sit idly by for the State Of Origin clash. Hence, the Roxbury is holding the Wicked Women's Comedy Night with an all-star all-chick line-up, with Jackie Loeb, Kathryn Bendall and Yvette Lia all under the watchful eye of MC Elissa Hawke, with return engagements already set for June and July. Time Out Sydney quizzed several of these Wicked Women about the nexus between football and comedy.

What inspired the decision to go head-to-head with state of origin?
Kathryn Bendall: "It's obvious: why shouldn't women have their own blood sport? Footballers think they're so tough with their three-monthly cycles!"

Is football funnier than comedy?
Sally Kimpton: "I don't know anything about rugby league but I do know Christiano Ronaldo makes me want to watch and for me to encourage him to practice his dives on me."

Elissa Hawke: "What is football? Oh, you mean that game where men express how they
really feel? No, football is not funnier than comedy but it is more homoerotic. Listen to Ray Warren's commentary: "Here goes Bailey, driving it up the middle, and Willie Tonga's going to give it to big Willie. He's grunting, grinding, looking for a little hole... Here's Gasnier... pushing and he's pumping..."

Are there any points of comparison between football and comedy?
Sally Kimpton: "I use my mouth for comedy and I'd use my mouth on Christiano Ronaldo."

Amanda Gray: "Yes it's incredibly funny that people should find football entertaining."

Elissa Hawke: "Does comedy give men a chance to touch each other? Hardly any of us girls are using steroids."

From what state will your performance originate?
Amanda Gray: "My material originates from sobering up and not seeing the world through wine colored glasses anymore. Instead it's stark, cold and ruthless reality."

Sally Kimpton: "I'm allergic to alcohol so it's not inebriation. I notice things going on which seem bonkers and I talk about them. I can't think of a better job, except being Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend. Unlike his current girlfriends though I would be at quite an advantage as there are no photos floating about of me with no top on. So I could charge a lot for them. Not that I would be interested in the money. I'd just be using him for sex."

Elissa Hawke: "Cynicism. Disillusionment. Inappropriate touching. On the night I will be pumped
up on spirulina, gingko biloba, probably guarana, buzz, cherry pop, some Milo and a couple of Pat and Sticks ice creams. This means anything can happen."

Wicked Women's Comedy Night happens Wed 21 May at the Roxbury Hotel.

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