One vision

Just because Julia Zemiro - radio star, actor, RocKwiz host and acclaimed comedienne - is hosting SBS's coverage of the Eurovision Song Contest, don't expect piss-taking. Ms Zemiro is quick to emphasise that there's nothing but love between her and the venerable European music contest.

"My mum went to France and met my dad there and was pregnant with me when Sandi Shaw sang ‘Puppet On A String' in the Eurovision song contest. So I heard it in the womb!" she laughs. "And all jokes aside, the first pop music I ever really listened to was French so I don't really find any of that stuff funny or clichéd or kitsch. I love French pop and because my mum was a language teacher she'd get Italian pop and German pop - and so I listen to that stuff and think ‘that's absolutely normal.' ABBA was my first concert, the first album I bought with my own money, so when I read their biography and one of the facts was that they won Eurovision with ‘Waterloo'. I had a vague memory of it from France and back then it still felt like a legit show that you could get a break on."

Not all countries treat Eurovision as a joke, mind. The former Baltic States are notorious for taking it very seriously for legitimising their place on the world stage. Several have followed their Eurovision debut with European Union membership, while the Ukraine used Ruslana's 2004 win to gain popular support for the first ever democratic elections. "Totally," Zemiro emphatically replies. "And everything today is so over-produced, and when you watch Eurovision it reminds you of talent quests, and reminds you of you at your first ballet recital when you weren't very good, and sometimes you can see a real sweetness and delight - and sometimes that's raw talent that, when you polish it up, is gone."

Warming to her theme, she continues. "And you've got three minutes to deliver live! I did It Takes Two last year and I know how hard it is to get up and do it live. Twenty years of performance didn't help settle my nerves. And then you've got all the extra choreography and the sticking-your-hand-inside-the-jumpsuit-to- get-the-handful-of-glitter-and-throwing-it-at-the-camera: there are so many things that can go wrong! I think it's a pretty dangerous show to do."

So what advice would Ms Zemiro have for those hosting their own Eurovision parties (aside from the hard and fast rule that everyone takes a shot on the key change)? "You shut up for the songs. Certainly that's been true of every Eurovision party I've ever been to: you can give all the spectacle you like during the Postcards From The Ukraine or whatever, but as soon as the songs come on, it's that first 30 seconds of ‘am I in, or am I not?' And that's a challenge in itself."

It's worth noting that, while Zemiro is hosting the broadcast, this doesn't mean that viewers won't be treated to the dry, snide BBC commentary of Terry Wogan. "A few years ago SBS made the mistake of taking his commentary off - and they absolutely realised their mistake," she emphasises. "So this year, in terms of what I do, it's just me on a couch going ‘I love it, you love it, here we go, see you at the halfway mark'. Wogan's such a huge part of it: he's that voice in your head that you agree with. And I think it's done with love."

But will Zemiro follow what one would assume makes up the Wogan Eurovision regime and drain half a dozen bottles of full-strength whiskey during the broadcast?

"I'll probably just have some sort of cheeky Sauvignon Blanc," she laughs. "And not too many snacks: I like to concentrate on what's going on. But I look forward to those key changes - and those missed key changes. It wouldn't be Eurovision without them."

Eurovision screens on SBS: the first semi-final screens 7.30pm on Fri 23, the second on 7.30pm Sat 24 and the final on 7.30pm Sun 25.

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