First published on 2 Jul 2008. Updated on 4 Jul 2008.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink here named after you." The grasshopper says, "Bob?"
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club."
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here." The ‘roo says, "At these prices, I can see why."
A bloke walks into a bar. He spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar and approaches. He says "Would you like to dance?" and she replies, "I don't like this song, and even if I did I wouldn't dance with you." To which the guy says, " No, I said ‘You look fat in those pants'."