First published on 3 Jul 2009. Updated on 14 Sep 2009.
Your last show was called In Disorder to Chaos is your new show. Unique title: care to explain it? Basically, life is chaos. Rules and laws are just people trying to bring order to chaos. And sometimes in that order, there's manipulation and fear and control. My jokes are about bringing disorder: going back and saying, "You don't have to listen to this. You don't have to follow these rules. You can be a contrarian."
What's your favourite part about coming to Sydney? I like a little nightclub called Tatlers. It's the best. I usually go to Harry's Café de Wheels at least once and get a meat pie.
How is Australian humour different to American humour? I could dissect it and spend an hour on that, but the truth is it's not very different at all. We live in a globalised society now. In America, you'll find people who are into broad humour, childish stuff, slapstick, and sophisticated political satire. It's the same here. And they have so many comedy festivals here. The people here become really comedy-savvy.
You're a really well travelled comedian, but is there any place or any crowd in the world that you would refuse to perform to? Ku Klux Klan. Won't do any private shows there. And no shows in Austrian basements.
You have to pick one comedic job for the rest of your life: jailhouse entertainer, or eternal teller of knock-knock jokes to preschoolers. Jailhouse entertainer. The peril involved... I'd feel like I have to make them laugh or I'd lose my virginity.
If you could take over one person's job for the day, whose would you take? I'd love to be a neurosurgeon. I would love to walk in the room and be like, "Hey, I'm just filling in for the day; I'm a substitute. I'm going to be operating on your brain. Why don't you lay on the table? We're not going to need anaesthetic. We're just going to cut right in."
Growing up, were you the class clown? Yep. I was kicked out of grade school, junior high, high school and college.
That is impressive. Have you always known you wanted to be a comedian? When I was in ninth grade English class, Mrs Mather, my teacher, stopped the class and goes, "Eddie! Please, please, please, when you're on The Tonight Show someday, will you just wave to me and say hi?" And I go, "Yeah!" and I was all excited. And she goes, "But for now, will you please just shut the hell up?"
So what's the best practical joke to play on an irritating flatmate? In college, we removed my friend's furniture – his entire room – and put it on the lawn exactly how it was in the room.
What did he say when he got home? He's a drunk. He just went to bed.
On the lawn? He was out there for a couple days until we made him bring it all in.
Who made you laugh when you were a kid? My dad always told funny stories about other people. My mom was just a naturally funny person. And then I had three older sisters who would have their friends over and I was always trying to make them laugh. And my sisters would be like, "Show-off! Show-off!" And I'd be like, "Come on. I'm trying to get laid here."
What's the hardest you've ever laughed? My friend was babysitting and he came running in the room. He was wearing only Umbro shorts and he jumped in the air in front of the kids and tried to fart and land on the ground at the same time, and a piece of poo shot out of his butt and bolted across the floor. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I thought I was going to be operated on.
Anything you want to add? Don't jump in the air and try to land and fart at the same time.
Eddie Ifft appears at the Comedy Store From Tue 1 Sep to Sat 12 Sep.