Noise Night

Review: This is how I imagine the conversation planning Noise Night went:

LOU REED: I think we should have a night where the louder acts all perform, like Bardo Pond, Melt-Banana, Boris, that sort of thing – interspersed with experimental music performances.
HARRIED VIVID PROGRAMME PLANNER: Um, that's a great idea Mr Reed, but don't all those acts have quite a lot of gear?
REED: …So?
STAFFER: Well, you're talking about putting on thirty or more performers, all of whom have very specific equipment, complicated electronics, loads of pedals and so forth, but with basically no changeover time.
REED: Right.
STAFFER: I'm just thinking that might be logistically very difficult to pull off, what with all the gear and stuff... [trails off]
REED: [stony silence]
STAFFER: ...because, um, see, the artists would all need...
REED: [interrupting] You're saying this as though it was my problem rather than yours.
STAFFER: [near tears] Well, I mean that... I could just... I suppose... OK.

So, with that conversation in mind, Noise Night at the Opera House began about an hour later than scheduled. And it certainly wasn't delayed in order that local quintet Zond might soundcheck – never before have I seen five people less comfortable on stage and more ready to kill each other, especially the drummer who was studiously ignoring the rest of the band as he busied himself playing whatever he wanted: the bassist and lead singer/guitarist were clearly assessing "playing set at Opera House for Lou Reed" versus "beating drummer to death with guitars". The set was short and drama-filled, but it didn't take long for a phalanx of techs to clear the stage for the lively, squealing Tokyo speed quartet Melt-Banana, who rocked through half a dozen songs with aplomb before co-curator Laurie Anderson headed stage right to create an improvisational electronic piece, with Owen Ambarchi wandering on midway to take over with ten minutes of static and feedback.

He stayed onstage to perform with the Japanese sludge rockers Boris, who were the loudest thing of the night: you didn't so much listen to them as get slugged in the sternum by sheer volume. They were also amazingly good, and kudos to their white-suited and begloved drummer, who added a touch of theatricality to a night dominated by people staring at their effects pedals.

The interval followed, although some people clearly didn't realise that this wasn't the end of the night. Or maybe they were also aware of when the trains stopped running: after the screaming, contact-mic-on-Perspex smashing performance by the Night Terrors (after which a tech needed to vacuum up the broken shards, with a colleague immediately putting a microphone to the exhaust vent to gales of applause) and the stately, powerful performance by Bardo Pond (with guest Marc Ribot pulling gloriously scrawly lead guitar noises) I realised my public transport window was closing. Sadly, my desire not to sleep on a bench at Circular Quay meant that I missed Lou Reed and Anderson joining Melt-Banana for a set-closing performance. At least, I know that's what was planned for the finale – they may well still be setting up gear as you read this... Andrew P Street