First published on 26 Jul 2012. Updated on 6 Aug 2012.
The
2012 Time Out Food Awards are this Monday, and to celebrate we're starting with a call to arms. We took a leaf out of
New York Mag's book, and created our own list of hate-words. Help us stop evil in its tracks by avoiding words like 'scrumptious', 'delectable' and 'mound'.
Crispy Crisp is fine.
Devour If you’re a dinosaur devouring a unicorn, we can live with it. For everyone else, please try again with something less half-baked and cliché.
Feel When you mean mood or atmosphere.
Funky A room is not funky, but dry roasted shrimp paste can be.
Gobble Is only OK if you’re talking about that weird bit of skin on a turkey’s neck, or the noise they make before running into a fence.
Giggle avoid unless you want a backhand slap from the ed team.
Mecca Unless your chair is pointing that way.
Mouth-watering Senile and dribbling over your tin plate after too many meds? OK. Describing a self-saucing chocolate pudding? No.
Mound Only OK if you’re talking about vulva shaped food.
Nosh/Nosh up/Noshery You know, the English have another meaning for ‘nosh’ that has nothing to do with food, and everything to do with fellatio.
‘On acid’ Unless you’re actually Hunter S Thompson on acid.
Ooze (This from the subs team: “I will kill anyone who uses this to describe something non-viscous. Kill.”)
“Om nom nom nom” Every time you write this, a dolphin commits suicide.
Slurp It’s gross.
Snuggles against Applies to baby bears, zebras and ponies. Not pie and mash.
Sinful Has your meal given you a proud look or devised a wicked plot? No? Then think twice.
Scrumptious, scrummy Smacks of short, stubby fingers wearing too much jewellery and eating bon bons.
Steaming pile Is your meal a steaming pile of manure? It is? Go for it.
Tuck in Only applicable when tucking in pants, beds and shirts.
Trendy Makes us think of our parents wearing chunky jumpers and expressing themselves after a few white wines.
To die for Unless you’re actually talking about dying.
Über Just, no.
Variety Be specific, you lazy gits – what are we underpaying you for?
Fancy some more journalistic ranting? Check out Andrew P Street's screed about the Five Greatest Music Journalist Clichés
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Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Mound - ha!
Posted on Mon 30 Jul 2012 13:12:13
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25
Last night I went to check out this new uber trendy café in Potts point. This place has become somewhat of a Mecca for the hipsters in the area that desire scrummy food. The interior is a funky mix of 1950’s furniture and paintings. Although it looks like someone on acid designed it the vibe of the room has a good feel. I was shown to my table by a stunning young waitress that had a body to die for. The menu was small and compact, a lot like the waitress who I was now having sinful thoughts about. I was so hungry at this point I could have devoured her and gone Om nom nom nom with her all night as she giggled insistently. Alas I was here for work and not foreplay, There was so much variety on the menu and it all looked top nosh. First up I ordered the mouth-watering vegetarian Calamari, this iconic dish has to be on everyone’s bucket list. Out came this steaming pile of crispy rings. Stacked up like a pitchers mound on a baseball diamond. I gobbled this down in no time at all. I was a little parched from the salty, veggie, seafood goodness and ordered myself a Gin Martini that I slurped away on. I started to tuck into my second dish of organic pippies that were covered in a thick ooze of OX sauce but was not satisfied as all I could think about was having snuggles against that waitress. Andy MF Penney
Posted on Sun 29 Jul 2012 23:14:25