Mad Cow

Head to Sydney's most exciting new steakhouse where pure protein rules. It's a damn sight easier than trying to get fed at the Teppanyaki restaurant upstairs where the waits are long and the only protein in sight is the parade of gorgeous waitresses in diaphanous kimonos. There's a great sense of play, fun and whimsy surrounding the new Hemmes family offering, down to the terrified cows on the front of the menu peeking out from behind an ivy bush begging customers to order the suckling pig and white wine (it goes with chicken). And though they've only been operating a couple of months, the place is packed.

Getting to the restaurant proper though, is tedium in extremis. You'll need to negotiate your way past at least two clipboards then climb a very steep set of stairs before you can even start thinking about a steak.   

Mad Cow's room is bright and sunny - a cross between your nan's kitchen and a 1950s Queensland diner. White leather banquettes line the walls and green dyed carnations sit in little vases on every booth table. (Did you know you can dye carnations a different colour if you put dye in their water? Well, now you do.) The service is incredibly prompt - perhaps a little too prompt as we're given our mains before we have time to finish the wine from our entrees. Despite what the name suggests, Mad Cow's not all about steak (though granted it does play a large part). There's an Italian buffalo mozzarella stack with fried eggplant and zucchini and a drizzle of basil oil which, surprisingly, is served cold and may explain why the entrees come out so quickly. Similarly the prawn cocktail (sweet, tender prawns on crisp iceberg lettuce with a slightly sweet chilli jam blob on the side) arrives with equal speed.

The golden chicken broth (named for the little flecks of gold leaf through the broth) isn't as bold and restorative a stock as you might imagine, though the marrow-filled dumplings add some oomph.

But yes, the main event is the steak. There's the Yabba Dabba Doo rib eye on the bone for two that would have been a hell of a lot tastier if they'd let the meat rest for longer (by halfway through the meal it's sitting in a pool of meat juice). But the wagyu skirt steak is tender and flavoursome in the way that only a cut that protects the organs can be - all that beautiful 9+ marbling leaves a wonderful mouthfeel as well as having respectable chew.

And the sides are great, too. Cauliflower gratin (basically cauliflower cheese) and crisp, fluffy garlic and rosemary fried potatoes make perfect bedfellows with all that king-hitting protein but they're tiny servings and quite exxy ($8-10 per plate). Considering the steaks come utterly denuded of sides, they could afford to be a little more generous.

With the wine and dishes priced as they are though, you could easily spend some serious dough and a great place for a business lunch on expenses or a blowout dinner on Visa. The music constantly thumping away won't be to everyone's taste but swishing a glass of pinot blanc while listening to 'Shake Your Rump' by the Beastie Boys is a rare, and to some, beautiful thing.