Sex in Sydney 2010

You’re a kinky bunch, Sydney. Over the first few months of 2010, we conducted a naughty little survey on the Time Out website to reveal the naked truth about Sydney’s sex life. No strings attached – unless you’re into that kind of thing (which you, JC from Potts Point, clearly are). But plenty of questions asked. The response was overwhelming: 4,643 of you joined in for a bit of (largely) anonymous fun – which proves that Spencer Tunick isn’t the only one who can get a Sydney crowd to bare all. This more than doubles the size of 2009’s sex survey – no pills or pumps required.

Here are the results.

How gay is Sydney?

Not as pink as you might think, actually. Of those who answered the call to talk dirty, a hefty 86% were straight while 7% identified themselves as gay, 6% as bisexual, and a mysterious 1% went for the “Other” option. We don’t know either. Asexual? Transsexual? Trysexual, as in Ali G’s “I’ll try anything sexual” definition?

Do you remember your first time?

We invited you to romp down memory lane to the day that cherry went ‘pop’. Seventeen was a very good year for 18% of you, the highest percentage for any age category. For the 1% of you who still haven’t done the deed, we’re not sure you should read some of these first-time descriptions, including “Joy quickly followed by dread,” “I would have rather been pulling out my toenails,” and “Five seconds of awesome.” Although the respondent who answered with “Fumbling fun in a farm paddock” made it sound like a damn good time. Yee-haw.

How many people have you slept with?

Nearly a quarter of you (22%) have slept with between 20 and 39 people. You easy riders probably can’t put an exact figure on it. Meanwhile 1% (which is around 40 of you) claim to have over 100 notches on the bedpost – which must have all but worn it out. A more conservative 29% have had five sexual partners or fewer, while the average (39%) is somewhere between six and 19.

Cheat!

Two surprising stats: slightly more than 50% of respondents have cheated on a partner, and 54% have faked an orgasm.

Getting any?

A deprived 10% are currently gettin’ none, while 24% knock boots once a week, 17% twice a week, and 19% three times a week. A lucky/sore 4% fell in the 10-plus category. That’s 1.4 times a day for you stat junkies, although we really wouldn’t wish 0.4 of a lay on anyone.

Assume the position!

Doggy style wins the favourite position title for the second year in a row with 33% of the vote, followed by cowgirl with 22% and good ol’ missionary in third with 19%.

Sexual Insecurity

The question “What’s your sexual insecurity?” yielded some hilariously honest answers.  Some favourites:
“Accidentally doing a poo.”
“None, my cock is all ego.”
“Not being entirely sure if he has just come or if I should carry on.”
“Endurance – mainly thanks to those radio ads, which get you worried.”
“Don’t like my ass messed with.”

The Bald Facts

Had to ask. 19% rock it au naturel, 54% trim or groom, 12% shave (wince), and 15% have not a single hair where the sun don’t shine.

Wankers!

Perhaps not entirely unexpectedly, it turns out men play with themselves more frequently than women.  49% of men had between 1 and 10 solo sessions in the last 30 days, while 29% confessed to 11–20. However, the majority of women (60%) fell in the lesser 1–10 category, while 20% had completely held off all month (compared to only 8% of men).  Even more telling, 5% of men fell in the 31-plus serial wanker category, compared to only 1% of women.
 
Also, giving new meaning to desk job, a substantial 35% of respondents have indulged in some self-love at work. That’s one in three of the people you sit next to every day in your office. Let the suspicious stares when colleagues take a little too long in the bathroom commence!

The kinks!

You guys do not limit yourselves to the bedroom by any means, with notable sex locations including, “A stormwater drain. It was my first time…And it was oh so classy”; “In line at a deli”; “A church – in the little room where the minister gets dressed”; and “Parliament House”.

Some other stats on Sydney’s wayward trysts: a whopping 33% have had a threesome, 9% have paid for sex, and a surprising 13% of “straight” respondents have had sex with someone of the same gender.  Well, maybe they are the trysexuals.

OK, that’s enough now. Until next year anyway…

Spice up your life

Sydney's top ten naughty-but-nice sexperiences. By Andrew Georgiou

Burlesque at the Arthouse There’s nothing sexier than anti-ci-pa-tion, and the art of burlesque is all about revealing just a little bit at a time. Every second Sunday of the month the Arthouse Hotel hosts a burlesque night that’s bound to pop your cork. It's naughty enough to get the crowd rowdy, but classy enough that you could bring Aunt Beryl along without blushing. The Arthouse Hotel

Leather up at Hellfire Chips, dips, chains, whips – Hellfire has it all, and has been ticking/licking the fetish box for 15 years. From swinging straights to the beautifully bent, Hellfire beckons all comers to enthusiastically observe or throw themselves into kinky acts that range from a semi-nude boogie to a good old fashioned flogging. Get yo’ freak on! The Gaff Nightclub

Dress up at SerpentineNothing says ‘come up and see me sometime’ like your partner dressed up in a sensual outfit from an era before online porn and Viagra spam. Dress-up dungeon Gallery Serpentine keeps adventurous couples well stocked in corsetry, alternative club wear and Victoriana. Who knew the Bronte sisters were this sexy? Gallery Serpentine

Get a buzz at Madame RougeThe grande dame of sex shops, Madame Rouge caters to and for the inner woman with an earth-shattering selection of vibrators on offer. Their number one product currently is called the We Vibe, a couples' vibrator that even found its way into the goodie bags at the Oscars. After all, the couples that play together stay together, right Sandra and Jesse? Madame Rouge

Park and rideGo Fonzie! If the old yawn-stretch-and-cop-a-feel move is up your alley then a drive-in date is for you. Sydney’s last surviving drive-in offers a bargain deal for lovebirds with a double feature under the stars for just $14 per person. Don’t come aknockin’ if the Nissan Cedric is a-rockin’! Blacktown Drive-In Cinema

Sex on a plate at Slide The perfect dinner date is Slide’s sensual Sunday night nine-course degustation, El Circo. The menu includes a truffle-filled balloon, for those who like to suck. While you wine and dine, Slide’s raunchy entertainment unfolds at the table: burlesque acts, half-naked contortionists and sexy silhouette artists that will get you in the mood to slide in under the sheets the minute you get home. Slide

XXX Sydney by the book Discover the real underbelly of Sydney’s golden mile. Pick up Love Machine, the debut novel by local writer Clinton Caward. It’s a love story set in a Kings Cross sex shop, and is based on the author’s real-life experiences. Love Machine by Clinton Caward (Penguin), RRP$29.99.

The Duchess – a Crown jewelThis is a newish lingerie shop that women love – although men tend to be quite taken with it too. The sets are sexy, flattering and feminine, with an accent on vintage designs and fabrics. The Duchess

Instant hook-up Sometimes you get the itch, but finding someone to scratch it with can be fraught with obstacles, which is where sites like Adult Match Maker come in, well, handy! Waiting for the ‘one’ can take a while so in the meantime this site will provide you with a safe way to find someone who is up for it. It has strict codes of conduct, helpful tips and thousands of profiles for people in Sydney, catering to all tastes. 

Sydney’s sexiest night clubIvy hosts its own pool party every Sunday and pulls in a crowd of hipsters who are just begging for a little poolside mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Plus, we gather that all sorts of stuff goes on in the Changing Rooms downstairs. Ivy Pool Club

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