Who’s ahead in the clash of kings? (Minimal spoilers)
Nude women: 2 (1 queen, 1 bedwarmer)
Sex scenes: 2 (1 gay, 1 straight, both unconsummated)
References to incest: 3 (The Crasters, the Greyjoys, the Lannisters)
Brilliant pieces of Machiavellian manipulation: 1 (Tyrion)
Warrior maiden Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) wins the favour of King Renly (Gethin Anthony) by defeating Sir Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones) in tourney. Brienne 1 , Loras 0.
…which of course has Loras all pissy when Renly wants to shag him. Renly 0.
Hand of the King Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinkage) devises an ingenious plan to find out which member of the Small Council is giving away his plans to Queen Cersei. Lord Varys (Conleth Hill) is so impressed by the Imp’s cunning that he almost forgets he’s a eunuch. Tyrion 1, Cersei 0.
Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) makes a momentous decision about whose side he’s really on. House Stark 0, House Greyjoy 1.
Arya (Maisie Williams) learns to whisper the names of her enemies every night before sleep. Lommy Greenhands (Eros Vlahos) learns it’s not always a good idea to yield to your enemies. Queen’s men 1, Lommy 0.
Game of Thrones screens on Showcase.