Suckling pig! Dornish red! It's the perfect way to welcome another season of TV's fantasy juggernaut
The wait is finally over – the stupidly good bit of TV that is fantasy-political drama Game of Thrones is finally returning for a third season this Monday (April 1). And that means Game of Thrones party-time. If you can't get into Gastro Park's excellent Game of Thrones feast, don't worry, you can have an excellent GOT shindig at home to celebrate the premiere. Here's how to do it.
A tip to start Don’t invite any disgruntled relos or family friends.
Set the scene Order a 180kg block of ice from the Lidcombe Ice. Every time you want a drink, send someone to “the Wall” to chip off a few chunks. If that sounds like too much effort, just turn the air-con down real low.
To eat Get all feasty with a suckling pig from meat suppliers Feather and Bone – check with them first as supplies are limited. Alternatively, smash into some saucy ribs.
On that note Lay down an old carpet or some newspapers – your pansy modern carpet’s going to need protection as you throw bones and swig wine in true Lannister fashion.
To drink Go and see Giorgio de Maria at 121 BC to find modern wines to match all that “Dornish red” and “Arbor gold” on screen. He's got enough decent drops to keep Cersei satisfied.
Dress up Pillage the racks at Gallery Serpentine in Enmore for all your gothic fashion needs.
To bring Make sure your fellow Thrones fiends come packing a wood-handled Opinel knife to tear into the tasty beasts. You can pick them up at Chefs’ Warehouse.
Extras You’ll want a few dogs and some horses in there. Maybe a wolf. Maybe a couple of dragon-looking lizards too.
Drinking game The HBO rule – take a shot every time you see boobs. Though these sightings may be fewer this year, if the conspicuously clothed shots of Daenerys we've been seeing in the trailers are anything to go by.
Game of Thrones returns Mon Apr 1 at 4.20pm on Showcase.
For more Game of Thrones coverage see...