GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

When it comes time to tally humanity's achievements and failures, GI Joe will definitely count as a black mark against us. This overblown yet soulless adaptation of Hasbro's line of action toys sees the eponymous team of highly trained soldiers attempting to foil a plot by the evil Cobras to attack the world with nanomites, a new weapon capable of dissolving metal. There is nothing worth recommending about this film: the script is terrible, the acting is either sub-par or scenery chewing and the action, the movie's raison d'être, is impressive but waved about in your face so much that you eventually become bored with it. The DVD release does nothing to assuage these problems. There is a commentary track and two mini-documentaries, one concerning the making of the film (which begins with a Hasbro executive stating that the movie was made to "re-invent the [GI Joe] brand" – hardly the ethos by which good cinema is created) and one focussing specifically on the special effects, which will be of interest to budding CGI wizards and no one else. If knowing is half the battle, then consider yourself warned.

More television, DVDs, games and gadgets in Sydney? Sign up to our weekly newsletter